Eat Crap and Die 3

Velveeta cheese.  Velveeta cheese.  Velveeta cheese.  Calling it "cheese" is doing this product too much justice.  Even the U.S. government doesn't allow it to be called cheese.  I must admit that I used to buy Velveeta from time to time, I only used it in my macaroni and cheese.  I never used enough to really be able to taste it, but enough to give the sauce a creamier texture.  I abandoned this stuff altogether a few years ago though.  I would never ever think of buying it under any circumstance now.  My brother in law made macaroni and cheese for Thanksgiving and I could tell he used some Velveeta in it.  Totally ruined it for me.

I just can't handle the taste of this stuff anymore, but then again I can barely tolerate American cheese.  I mean look at it............it sorta looks like butter, sorta looks like cheese.  It has the consistency of jello on steroids.

I came across these Velveeta slices as well.  I don't know if they still make these, but barf.  Just sickening.  Why on earth would anyone put a slice of Velveeta on anything??!!!??  Even as a grilled Velveeta "cheese" sandwich...... I can't imagine the thought.

Of course there are the Velveeta shells n' cheese which I have never tried (and probably never will).

Creamy cheese sauce and shell pasta!  Yum!  I can't imagine these being any good either.

 It's a new year.  Lets put Velveeta out of business.



Eat Crap and Die 2

Totino's pizza and their delicious pizza rolls.  I can say that I'm not a fan.  I LOVE pizza so I can eat this "pizza" when no other options are available, but I have to put a ton of extra cheese on it to be able to eat it.  Adding the cheese only makes it a bit more tolerable, so I rarely eat a Totino's pizza.  Putting extra, extra cheese on an already terrible piece of "food," is never a good idea either. 

I never bought these pizzas, but my husband likes them and my kids LOVE them.  In fact, it's their favorite kind of frozen pizza.  I never really liked them as a kid, but my stepmother would buy them (they are cheap and easy) and I always ate them anyway because it was pizza.  Sort of.  I don't like the pizza rolls either and I can say that Totino's falls into the "Embarrassed to have in my shopping cart" category.  Totino's never have any cheese on the damn things and I think they just taste weird.  The meat tastes weird, the crust tastes weird, and the pizza looks weird.

I hate Totino's website.  It's all "Hey!  Be sure to stock up on on these sodium filled crappy snacks so your kiddos can eat them when they get home!"  I know it's just advertising and we all need to be responsible for what we put in our bodies and what we put in our children's bodies.  I'm not a food nazi and my kids eat their fair share of crap.  I just hate it when crap tries to weasel its way in as a good idea.  A mom stocking up on pizza rolls and doling it out for an afterschool snack even twice a week seems like a terrible idea.

More crap to come later.

Eat Crap and Die

No, I don't want anyone to eat crap and die.  It is just my idea of a funny title.  I'm so witty.  Really, I wanted to call it, "Eat s*@! and die, but this is a family blog so I will take it easy on the profanities.  Anyway, my husband bought these cookies home from the store a few weeks ago. 

Some Chips Ahoy cookies.  I never buy Chips Ahoy cookies.  I think they are a travesty to the chocolate chip cookie and I would be embarrassed to have them in my shopping cart.  I would be much more likely to buy Oreos, or some Tollhouse break n' bake sort of cookies, or some cookies from the store bakery, or get off my ass and make a batch myself (this is rare).  But I would never consider buying Chip's Ahoy when there are so many better tasting options.  I had never seen this particular flavor before, and I can honestly say that I hated them before I even tried them.  I just couldn't imagine these cookies being any good, and whenever a cookie is being sold as "soft," or "chewy," they may as well put "Taste like ass!," on the package. 

Against my better judgement, I gave it a try.  My husband and the kids said they were "delicious."  I was still very skeptical.  I bit into a cookie.  Its was definitely fudge filled.  I couldn't swallow it.  It tasted like chocolaty plastic.  I swear I could taste the chemicals in it.  I spit it out in the sink. 

I do hate Chip's Ahoy but I'm hardly a foodie.  I wish I was, then perhaps I would eat better.  I want to eat better.  I want to feed my children real wholesome food, free from chemicals.  I don't feel right eating food that I wonder if NASA made.  My husband doesn't feel that way.  He thinks it's too expensive.  I mean where we live, the VERY FEW organic items sold at our grocery are VERY expensive.  But I also believe that there are some things in life that you can't buy cheap, and some things in life you really don't want to buy cheap.  It's easy to buy cheap food because you don't see the effects that the cheap food is doing to your body and your planet immediately.  To me, good food is worth paying for.

One good thing about our separation will be my chance to experiment.  I can buy organic without my husband balking at the price or rolling his eyes.  I will be forced to give up all the convenience food crap that my children and myself eat.  My food budget just won't allow for great food and overpriced garbage.  I will have to use my oven everyday.  I won't give up sweets or indulgences.  I will make the sweets myself.

Or I could continue to eat crap.    

Let There Be Light

I don't really know where to begin.  I decided to start this blog as a way to vent, relate, and gather some new ideas.  Only nobody is even reading.  Yet.  I've learned a lot of things this year.  I have learned that I have not been eating real food.  Worse, I have been feeding my children "edible food-like substances."  You know what I'm talking about...... Kraft mac and cheese, Tyson chicken nuggets, Froot Loops, Twinkies.  I have even reheated our food in plastic containers.  Please don't judge me.  I know that things need to change, and I am changing them.  But this blog isn't just about food and what we eat.  It's about kids, love, separation, natural parenting, green living, atheism, and ME. 

I am 29 years old, I have four kids.  I am still married but we are separating.  My husband is still my bestest friend, and we still love each other.  But things are complicated.  I won't go into why things are complicated right now, but lets just say that it was my fault.  All my fault.  I am moving out in a week with my oldest two kids, and our twin boys.  I will be on my own, raising four kids in a new city.  Either I'm brave or crazy, but I'll write about it either way.